I was trying to get the bubbles out of my screen protector and I accidentally bought a horse on eBay.

Just ordered a chicken and and an egg off ebay... Will let you know the results soon.

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

She has a coy pond. All the pretty fish swim away when you try to feed them.