*At the Carnival* Me: How much for the petting zoo? Person: What? *Drunk at Walmart by the dressing rooms*#Walmart#Bar#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
If there is not a open bar and a goddamn delicious cake at your wedding, I will take my gift card to Walmart back.#Walmart#Marriage#Bar#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
"I wasn't that drunk..." "Dude, you were driving your truck around the Walmart parking lot trying to find your truck."#Walmart#Driving#Bar#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.#Animals#Lawyer#Police#Bar+1 more0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
Beer makes me feel invincible. Vodka makes me feel innvienceablrerrer. *falls down*#Bar#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp