The Klondike Bar found out what I did for it, and now it's blackmailing me.

My ultimate dream is to move back home, open up a bar and run it with all of my friends, and then burn it down for the insurance money

If I could have back all the money I've spent on drugs and alcohol, I'd celebrate by buying more drugs and alcohol.

Here's a crazy idea. What if Budweiser took all that advertising money and actually made better beer?