Three old men sitting on a bench (xpost from r/funny) Theres three old men sitting on a bench, the first one says ""I think I have the worst life here because I wake up at 8:00 and I can't piss!"" The second one then says ""I think my life is worse than yours because I wake up at 8:30 and I can't shit!"" The third one finally says ""Gentlemen I think my life is worse than both of yours."" the first man interjects ""can't you piss?"" the third one replies ""At 9:00 I piss like a racehorse."" then the second one says ""Can't you shit?"" the third man replies again ""At 9:30 I shit like there's trains coming out of my ass."" the two both a little confused ask him ""Then what's the problem?"" ""I wake up at 10!!""