*throws a dead pigeon at jerk who cut me off in traffic* Wife: Hun, I don't think "flipping the bird" means what you think it means.

Three guys die and find themselves at the Pearly Gates Three guys die and go to heaven. They find themselves standing before Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, past the gates they can see a long road which seems to stretch up higher and higher into the clouds, and out of sight. Saint Peter looks to the first man and asks him ""How many times have you cheated on your wife?"" to which the man replies ""Never."" Then with a snap of his fingers a lamborghini murcielago appears on the road beyond the n…

A who is down on his luck... is walking down the road. He just got through a terrible divorce, his wife got everything, house, car, kids. As he stumbled into a ditch he notices a small copper lamp. Figuring he has nothing to lose he gives it a rub and sure enough a Genie pops out! ""I am the one and only Genie of the lamp! I will grant you 3 wishes, standard wish rules apply. Although anything you wish for your ex-wife will get two of."" The man thinks for a moment and asks, ""Genie I would like…

An anthropologist is completing his lifelong study of world dance... And he's celebrating. Celebrating his tail off. See, he'd spent the last 25 years cataloging every single dance performed by every group in the world. Polish Bogarodzicas. Sioux Buckskin dances to Seminole Green Corn dances. Inuit dances to the whales, Ghanaian Kpanlongo, Finnish step-dance. All of it. And he's found himself in Australia, recording the last one of all. A Wungubal in the north, performed by a small group of Abor…