Facebook asks what I'm thinking. Twitter asks what I'm doing. Google asks where I am. The internet has turned into my girlfriend.

The Internet walks into a bar A young man exclaims: ""Hey, you shouldn't sit here, you should be at work, otherwise Google won't function and Facebook will be out of order!"" The Internet, always grumpy, replies: ""Bartender! Gimme a beer. Who is this fella who cares so much for those two idiots?"" The bartender smiles and says: ""You're the Internet, you know everything."" The young guy whispers his IP address in the ear of the Internet. The Internet, a very shy personality, blushes, whispers s…

My New Girlfriend Facebook asks what I'm thinking. Twitter asks what I'm doing. Google asks where I am. The internet has turned into my girlfriend.

I always keep a google search for "how to find anyone, anywhere, and kill them" open on my phone in case anyone steals it.