Our Father, who art in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name But Imma call you "Hal" for short, 'k, Chief?

My mother has now been sending me a Valentine's card for 28 years. She's persistent but I'm not interested.

Fully clothed mom just waded into the pool to grab her devil spawn child that was ignoring her. She's my new favorite.

Kids go as the devil and bigfoot on Halloween all the time, but I go as a pedophile and suddenly I'm a weirdo.