A pirate is selling his loot at a stand on the docks A pirate is selling some loot at a stand he has set up on the docks. A man approaches and is interested in hearing about how he lost his limbs. Man: ""How did you lose your leg?"" Pirate: ""I was fighting off a shark in the sea. He got me leg, but I got one of his teeth. Now I use this wooden leg to replace me real one."" Man: ""Is that how you lost your hand too?"" Pirate: ""No, that was lost when I was attacking another boat of pirates. The captain got me hand, but I got his boat. Now I have this hook to replace me real hand."" Man: ""Did you lose your eye in that battle as well?"" Pirate: ""No, that was lost when a bird pooped in me eye and I tried to wipe it out. Twas the first day I had me hook.""