Computer backup systems are expensive so I include "Death To America" in my email signature & the NSA backs up everything I've ever written.

Michelle Obama telling America to drink more water is the best plan I've heard for making racists dehydrate to death.

[Captain America, minutes after the love of his life's funeral] Damn her niece is hot

America just sent the Curiosity rover to Mars... America just sent the Curiosity rover to Mars as the country watched with pride. Iran, wanting to gain a technological/global edge, decided to show up America by announcing a manned mission to the sun the very next day. The Americans, along with other western allies, decided to meet with the Iranian government to express their concern. In a conference room filled with diplomats and astrophysicists, the US delegation protested to the Iranians, ""Li…