Jack was going to be married to Jill ... so the night before the wedding his father sits him down for a little fireside chat. ""Jack, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants and handed them to your mother, and said, ""Here, try these on."" So, she did and said: ""These are too big, I can't wear them.'"" So I replied: ""Damn right! I wear the pants in this family and always will."" Ever since that night we have never had any problems."" Jack thought that might be a good thing to try. So they have the wedding. On the night of their honeymoon he takes off his pants, hands them to Jill and says: ""Here try these on."" She did and says: ""These are too large, they don't fit me."" So Jack says: ""Damn right! I wear the pants in this family and I always will, and I don't want you to ever forget that."" Then Jill removed her pants, handed them to Jack and said: ""Here, you try on mine."" He tries and tries but can barely pull them up. Finally he says: ""I can't get into your pants."" So she says: ""Damn right! And if you don't change your attitude, you never will.""