A man falls off a boat in a storm and washes up on a deserted beach where he finds a lamp sticking out of the sand. Figuring ""Why the hell not?"" the man rubs the lamp and sure enough out pops this super hot female genie. The man can't believe his incredible luck. ""Greetings, Master,"" she says. ""I will grant you whatever you wish, whether it is incredible wealth, love, long life, or all these things. Just know there are two rules."" ""Rule one: I am very generous. There is no need to wish for unlimited wishes. I will grant you everything you desire. You have only to rub my lamp once before each wish."" ""And rule two?"" asked the man. ""Rule two: I'm kind of a bitch. I will grant your wish only as the words come out of your mouth, so be careful how you word them. You never know what you might get. So what is your first wish?"" The man stops and thinks to himself ""I can have whatever I want.Money, fame, power, lots or beautiful women. I just have to outsmart her so she also grants my wish as I want it... That's it!"" The man smiles. ""Genie, for my first wish I want to be the smartest man in the world!"" The Genie nods her head and *poof* the man turns in Stephen Hawking.