The basketball coach storms into the president office and demands a raise.. The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise right then and there. ""Jesus Christ, man,"" protested President Kubritski, ""you already make more than the entire English department."" ""Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with,"" the coach blustered. ""Look."" He went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. ""Run over to my office and see if I'm there,"" he ordered. Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. ""You're not there, sir,"" he reported. ""Oh, I see what you mean,"" conceded President Kubritski, scratching his head. ""I would have phoned.""