Parish priest A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited. ""I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told…

The Oreo Joke This is a two part joke that is best told by two people in a social setting. The first person has to be willing to bomb a joke while the second person comes in later with the second part and saves the joke. **Part one** (make sure you open with a good joke or two then close with this first part and be excited about it) : An oreo delivery man is driving his truck on a road along the beach. After a while he hears *Rap! rap! rap!* on his window. He rolls down his window and sees an or…

3 people were stuck on a boat in the middle of the ocean The first person is missing his family. His wife just had his son and he misses him very much. The second person is also sad because he had just got married yesterday. The third person however, can do nothing but smile. All of a sudden, a lamp falls out of the sky and onto the hands of the first person. Person 2: a lamp! Maybe there's a genie in it! Rub it! Person 1 rubs it and a genie emerges from the lamp! Genie: Thank you for freeing me…

A bus full of ugly people had a head on collision with a truck. When they died, God granted all of them one wish. The first person said, ""I want to be gorgeous."" God snapped his fingers and it happened. The second person said the same thing and God did the same thing. This want on and on throughout the group. God noticed the last man in line was laughing hysterically. By the time God got to the last ten people, the last man was laughing and rolling on the ground. When the man's turn came, he l…