Larry's barn burned down and Susan his wife called the insurance company ... Susan: We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money. Agent: Whoa there just a minute Susan; it doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of the old barn and provide you with a new one of comparable worth. Susan after a pause: I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband.

How much do you want to bet that the inventor of the Lazy Susan has an ex-wife named Susan?

I'm off to the store got your wallet? yes you sure? YES *hour later wife turns on news and I'm being chased by 6 cop cars and a helicopter*

My neighbor gave my kid a whistle today. He is survived by his wife Linda. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to my bail money fund.