Appropriate for Election Season A man dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates and asks his profession. The man says he was a politician. ""Ah,"" says St. Peter, ""then you may choose whether you would like to go to heaven or hell. You may spend one week in heaven, then one week in hell. At the end of the two weeks, you may decide where you would likes to spend the rest of eternity."" So the man goes first to heaven. Everyone sits around peacefully strumming their harps a…

A politician dies and goes to heaven... He is greeted by St. Peter who tells him there is a new system in the afterlife. You can spend one day in heaven and one day in hell, and afterwords you can decide where you want to spend eternity. The politician say, ""ok, let's try this out."" So he spends the day in heaven, praying with the Lord, singing with the choir, and talking with the angels. He's thinking this is alright, not too exciting, but it's gotta be better than hell. The day ends with a l…

A communist Jew, an old hag who tries to be hip, a manic reality tv star, a bible thumper, a robot and an old man from Ohio who forgot to take his meds walk into a bar.... Pick one to be your next president

A man who is visiting from out of town goes into a bar one night... He gets incredibly drunk and stands up on one of the stools and yells: ""EVERY LAST DEMOCRAT IS A HORSES ASS!"" The crowd in the bar immediately starts screaming and yelling at him as they turn on him and beat him up and throw him out. A few nights later the man returns to the bar... the crowd SEEMS to be okay with him there again, and he ends up getting completely drunk yet again. Once more he ends up standing on one of the sto…