Computer scientists and engineers 'A group of engineers and computer scientists from the same university are attending a conference in the next town. The decide to take the train. The engineers buy one ticket each. The computer scientists scratch their heads, pool their cash and buy a single ticket. The engineers think this is strange but watching computer scientists get in trouble should be fun. The conductor comes around to get the tickets and all the computer scientists disappear into the bat…

A man on a date A guy is sitting at a bar, there's music blasting. Across from him is the most stunning women he's ever seen and she's giving him the eye. He buys her a drink and comes over. They seem to be getting on fantastically, and she's so beautiful everyone in the place is jealous. Suddenly she stands up, throws her drink over the guy, slaps him HARD across the face and storms out. The bartender comes over, says ""Dude, you were in there for sure, what the hell happened?"" ""Well"", says …

New metals are added to chemistry A new metal is added to chemistry: NAME - Husband SYMBOL: - Hb ATOMIC WEIGHT: 1. Light when found first 2. Tends to get heavier over the years with time PHYSICAL PROPERTIES: 1. Boils at any time with inlaws 2. Can freeze in front of his own family 3. Melts if sees other women 4. Very bitter if questioned CHEMICAL PROPERTIES: 1. Very reactive 2. Highly unstable 3. Possesses strong resistance to gold, silver, diamond, platinum, credit cards and cheque books …

An atom walks into a bar He says to the bartender, "I will have a glass of your finest Scotch Whiskey." The bartender says, "Do you have the money to pay for this?" The atom says, "Of course I do." The bartender replies, "I don't believe you, get outta here!" The atom leaves, and a patron says to the bartender, "Why didn't you believe 'em?" The bartender say, "Everyone knows you never believe an atom, they make up everything".