A midget with a speech impediment One day this rancher gets a phone call from one of his high school buddies . His buddy says that he has a friend that is interested in buying a horse and naturally he referred him to his buddy. The rancher said ""That's fine, what does the guy look like so that when he shows up I knows who to look for."" The buddy says, ""Oh, well he's a midget with a speech impediment you can't miss him."" ""Alright,"" said the rancher Later in the day this car pulls into the r…

A man goes on vacation... And calls up his buddy to see if he'll watch over the house and, more importantly, the cat. ""Sure thing, Jim! You know I love Tiger! You just enjoy your trip and I'll call you if anything pops up."" Two days later, Jim is sunbathing on a cruise ship when his phone rings. He recognizes his buddy's number and answers the phone. ""Jim... I'm not sure how to tell you this... Tiger died yesterday. He ran out the front door and was hit by a car."" After a moment for the shoc…

A penguin has car trouble...(oldie) He pulls his car into a gas/service/diner and asks them to check it out. ""OK buddy, we'll get right on it. Shouldn't take more than a couple minutes. You can wait in the diner if you want."" so mr. penguin goes to the diner and orders a large sundae. after he's done he goes back to the mechanic ""Hey pal, I hate to tell you this but it looks like you blew a seal!"" ""Oh heavens no,"" says the penguin ""its just ice cream"" *obviously not original but i've onl…

Pulling Together A guy drives into a ditch, but luckily, a farmer is there to help. He hitches his horse, Buddy, up to the car and yells, ""Pull, Nellie, pull!"" Buddy doesn't move. ""Pull, Buster, pull!"" Buddy doesn't budge. ""Pull, Coco, pull!"" Nothing. Then the farmer says, ""Pull, Buddy, pull!"" And the horse drags the car out of the ditch. Curious, the motorist asks the farmer why he kept calling his horse by the wrong name. ""Buddy's blind,"" said the farmer. ""And if he thought he was t…