Bill Gates is so rich... he hired cancer to kill Steve Jobs.

So, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs walk into a bar... and I got sued for millions because I used both of their names in the same sentence.

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

Beer makes me feel invincible. Vodka makes me feel innvienceablrerrer. *falls down*