Seven indicators that you've chosen the wrong airline. 1. Ground crew seen using pennies to check tire wear. 2. Upon closer inspection, trendy desert-pastel paint job turns out to be primer yellow and Bondo pink. 3. Man with oily rag hanging from the back pocket of his dirty overalls turns out to be the pilot. 4. Voice on P.A. system warns you to keep your hands and arms inside the aircraft while it is in motion. 5. Just before takeoff, the flight attendant offers coffee, tea, or Valium. 6. Air sickness bags are printed with the Lord's Prayer. 7. Pilot asks if anyone on board has jumper cables with them.