I automatically write off anything Donald Trump says because someone with that much money has no excuse for that hair.

Kelly Ayotte says "Donald Trump is absolutely a role model for kids." She's right, kids don't pay taxes either.

There are only 2 things Donald Trump fears: 1) The world discovers he's been lying about being a billionaire, and 2) a strong wind.

A husband and wife give birth to twins... ...but realized that they simply don't have the money to support a family. They put the twins up for adoption without so much as giving them names, after deciding it was for the best. Soon, one twin is adopted by a Mexican family, and his new family names him Juan. Shortly after, the other twin is adopted by an Egyptian family. His family names him Jamal. Years pass, and one day the couple receives a picture in the mail of Juan. ""Look, honey!"", said th…