Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

what does the Bible say about faking your own death to get out of jury duty

Hell is an eternity of being sober in a room full of drunk people.

Just told everybody in the bar to shut the hell up so my date could hear the full effect of my velcro wallet opening.