An elderly couple was having dinner one evening When the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, ""Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?"" Martha replied, ""Well Henry, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I've been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always for a good reason. Henry was obviously hurt by his wife's confession, but said, ""I n…

Husband: Doctor. I think my wife has symptoms of deafness. I talk to her at home and she's not answering me. Doctor: Okay. Next time you're at home with her try this: Stay at a certain distance from her and tell her anything. If she doesn't answer you go a bit closer and try again until she answers. The husband goes home, his wife comes home from work and start making dinner. The husband get far from her and asks. Husband: Maria! What's for dinner? The woman didn't answers so he approaches some …

Found this joke on some website i cant remember You Know You Are a Mexican When... * You share the same social security number with all your amigos * You smell like BO all the time * You don't know what BO is * You have at least thirty cousins * There is at least one member in your family name Maria, Guadalupe, Juan, Jose, or Jesus * You see a fence and want to hop over it * You are too short to go on rides in Disney Land * You mow lawns for a living * You're the best bean picker in your neighbo…

A husband tells his wife about the car crash he got into... Husband: Hey, I got in a car crash today. I got hurt real bad, I broke my arm and fractured my wrist. I also sprained my ankle and the car nearly exploded! Luckily Lucy pulled me out of the car just before it exploded. I spent a couple days in hospital but I'm fine now. Wife: Who's Lucy?