Therapist: please tell me a little about what brought you both here today. Wife: We don't talk. Plus he is so literal. Me: My truck.

wife: "he never reacts appropriately, just tell him" doctor: "ok, keith we had to remove both your legs" me: "where will i keep my car keys"

[couples therapy] ME: She thinks I make bad decisions WIFE: He traded our car for a skateboard THERAPIST: *writing notes* This guy rules

The Dentist A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office. The man said to the dentist, ""Doctor, I'm in a big hurry! I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf. So forget about the anaesthetic and just pull the tooth and be done with it. I don't have time to wait for the anaesthetic to work!"" The dentist thought to himself, ""My goodness--this sure is a very brave man, asking me to pull his tooth without using anything to kill the pain."" So the dentist asked h…