You lied! Santa Claus is NOT real, mom! If "mom" is even your real name... [Neighbor to mom] hi Susan! *kid faints*

When someone rings the doorbell I say to my kids, "I think it's Santa Claus!" so I don't have to get up.

i love working at the post office at the north pole and ripping up white children's letters to santa claus

I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus. The FedEx guy, and the Walmart greeter. Mom's kind of a slut.