Dad to kid: "Connor, eat your food!" "Eat your food!" "Eat your food!" "Eat your food!" Me: *turns around, eats all of kid's food*

Don't call me "Dad", please call me by my professional title, "Half-Eaten Food Connoisseur Broken Toy Engineer Butt-Wipeologist".

Here's one for the mothers out there: the three bears retold A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning.... Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty.. 'Who's been eating my porridge?' he squeaks. Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair.. He looks into his big bowl and it is also empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?!?' he roars. Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from t…

Completely true. I think it makes for a great joke My husband wrestles with being the only man known to mankind to be able to muster the most sulphorous and nose bleeding farts with nothing but the consumption of water. I mean these bad boys send me flying out of bed at night to escape the torment. We were in Walmart the other day and decided to split up in order to keep our time at Wally World to a minimum. About ten minutes go by and my husband comes racing down the aisle laughing so hard tear…