😄 Son: Daddy, what's it like to have the most awesome son in the world ? Father: I don't know, ask you...

Daddy, why is grandma so bitter? I don't know, son; seems to run in the family. Your great uncle tasted awful

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Watching my mom use an iPhone is like watching a 12 year old girl try and contact her dead grandma on a Ouija board.

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*grandma climbs into time machine* *shuts the door behind her* MOM NANA IS STUCK IN THE GRANDFATHER CLOCK AGAIN

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JOSEPH: who did you name me after? ME: you were named after my grandfather GREGGNOG: what about me dad?

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