a serial killer that targets anyone who pronounces the "S" in Illinois

[Kitchen] Me: I'm a were-state. When the moon is full I turn into a US state. Wife: No you don't the moon is full now. Me: *Illinois noises*

Can't stop thinking about really disturbing things today, like what if they had called him Illinois Jones.

There's a guy out hunting and he shoots a duck. The DNR warden comes out of the woods and says, whachu got there? Got a duck, got a duck? He sticks his finger up the ducks butt, nods his head and says, thats a Wisconsin duck, you got a Wisconsin hunting license? The guy pulls out his wallet and shows him a Wisconsin hunting license. The next day, the same guy shoots another duck and the DNR warden comes out again. Says, Got a duck, got a duck? He sticks his finger up the ducks butt, nods his hea…