[home depot] employee[yelling]: YOU CAN'T DO THAT IN HERE me: [yelling over the sound of revving chainsaw]: WHAT

Twitter should send notifications when you're about to get fired and divorced.

As a father of girls, I think the best interview method for potential suitors will be: "Let me see your phone"

Boss: You're fired Me: No YOU'RE fired Boss: No Me: Yeah Boss: *starts sweating*