A German, a Frenchman and an Englishman go fishing... They fish quite happily for a while until the German catches a huge golden fish, but as he pulls it off the hook it says "Please don't kill me! Spare my life and I'll grant you all a wish!" The German throws the fish back and says "I wish for a mug of beer that will never empty", and immediately a foaming mug of ice-cold German ale appears in his hand. He takes a long swig and when he puts it down, it's still miraculously full! The Frenchma…

A Frenchman walks into a bar with a cat on his shoulder. The cat is wearing a little baseball cap. “Hey, that’s neat,” says the bartender. “Where did you get that?” “France,” the kitty says. “They’ve got millions of them!”

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

A horse walks into a bar & the bartender says, "why the long face?" & the horse says, "why the English Lit degree?"