Someday I'd love to treat my wife to some luxury items, like a BMW, a Louis Vuitton bag, or genuine HP ink cartridges.

I just got cut off by a bald man in a BMW, so I pulled up next to him, rolled down my window, and laughed at him.

Fun fact: Peanut butter also sticks to the roof of your ex-husband's BMW

Money cant buy happiness . . . but somehow, its more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle.