""Did you hear about that actress who stabbed her husband in the news today?"" ""Oh my goodness, no, who was it?"" ""It was a little blonde haired woman, I always forget her last name though. The first name is Reese."" ""Witherspoon?"" ""No, with her knife.""

My wife dared me to yell out "HURRY UP HAYDEN" at Disney World. Now we have 27 blonde boys & 8 girls following us like Children of the Corn.

A mid 30's guy is grocery shopping, and a 20 something blonde catches his eye. She looks very familiar, but he can't remember where he met her. When they moved closer, she said to him, ""Hi - I think you're the father of one of my children."" The guy freaks out. He says, ""I've only cheated on my wife 3 times - in Vegas 5 years ago, in Orlando 4 years ago, and in Seattle 3 years ago. You look familiar, but I just can't remember. Who are you?"" She says, ""I'm your son's Sunday school teacher.""

A slip of the tongue A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too. He says to him, ""Hey, this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?"" The other guy says, ""Well, it just happened, it was a tongue twister accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the most massive breasts in the world was there. So, instead of saying, …