Im sorry, but you only have two weeks to live *slides the doctor a five dollar bill* Ooooh make that 3 weeks buddy *winks at loved ones*

A guy walks into a doctor's office... ...with corn in his ears, a carrot shoved up his nose and a potato in his butt. Doctor says, ""Buddy, you're not eating right...""

I got my first prostate exam today and I was pretty scared about the whole ordeal. The doctor took me in the room and explained it's not all that bad and it would be over before I knew it. After a few preliminary checkups I got ready and went ahead and laid over the exam table and tried to prepare myself for what was coming. I tensed up at first and the doctor put a hand on my right shoulder and said, ""relax,okay big guy! It's all gonna be over soon I just need to check for enlargements."" Abou…

So, I visited my buddy at the hospital... ...but I couldn't find his room. After an hour of searching, I met a helpful nurse who told me to ""head straight, take a right, and then head through Ward E"". Once I got to Ward E, I could see my buddy's room just down the hall. As I was walking, I noticed a few nurses lingering around the hallways. I politely greeted them, but to my surprise they turned to me and immediately starting insulting me. Insults of every kind, from ""Your face looks like it …