Me: This is the year I'm going to save money. Also me: *googles, "how to purchase a baby elephant?"*

"Uh-oh!" - My toddler, looking me dead in the eye while he feeds his dinner to the dog

Yes,I put my kid on a leash. I'm not scared of her being abducted. I just REALLY wanted a puppy instead.

The year is 2027. Voice to text is flawless. A young child points at a bird and says, "Duck". His mother slaps him.