The confession Joe enters the confessional and tells the priest that he has committed adultery. ""Oh, no,"" said the priest, thinking of the most promiscuous women in town. ""Was it with Marie Brown?"" ""I'd rather not say who it was."" ""Was it with Betty Smith?"" ""I'd rather not say,"" says Joe. So the priest gives him absolution and Joe leaves. While leaving the church, Joe's friend asks if he received absolution. ""Yes, and two very good leads!""

A man named Bob had a good friend named Joe. Bob noticed that Joe seemed to know everybody. They worked together, and would often get drinks together, go to events together; no matter where they went Joe was always busy saying hi and shaking hands with everybody. Bob would often ask, 'how do you know that guy?' and Joe would say, 'oh, I know everybody.' Bob got pretty used to Joe saying that, and usually left it alone. One day they went to another city for a work conference, and Joe was at it ag…

Two American soldiers have taken cover in a foxhole during an offensive in France during ww2. The enemy fire power is fierce, and they are unable to advance or retreat. Shells are zinging past them like wasps, and errant ricochets unnerve them. Mortar shells explode all around and the two men are sweating lest a shell might land atop of them. As the evening wears on and nerves become frazzled in the stifling heat, one of the men confides that he has to go to the bathroom really bad. ""Number 1 o…

Two clams There's two clams, one is named Jerry and the other is named Sam. They're swimming in the ocean and Sam looks at Jerry and says ""I wonder what it's like up there, I'm going to go find out"" Jerry tells Sam it's a terrible idea and not to do it but Sam does it anyway. Sure enough he gets swept up by a fisherman and eaten. A couple hours later Jerry wonders where Sam went so he goes up to look for him and sure enough he gets swept up by a fisherman and eaten. Jerry wakes up in clam heav…