Mrs. Smith is having trouble with her husband falling asleep in church... ... and it was really embarrassing for her to be seen with him constantly nodding off. So Mrs. Smith asks the preacher before Sunday service if he has any ideas for her. He thinks about it, then hands her a pin and says, ""Every time I signal you with this gesture, poke your husband with this pin."" Mrs. Smith acknowledged his instructions and sat down with her husband for the service. Shortly into the sermon, Mr. Smith ha…

A little girl goes to her father... (long) ""Dad, where do we come from?"" The father replies, ""Well, a long time ago, God decided that he would create Adam, and then a wife for him Eve, to live here on earth. He allowed them to live here and have children and we come from them."" The girl, seemingly perplexed, then goes to her mother. ""Mom, where do we come from?"" The mother says, "" Well, I guess you're not too young for this, a long time ago, there were a species of apes that evolved over …

A child asked his father, ""How were people born?"" So his father said, ""Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies,and so on."" The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, ""We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now."" The child ran back to his father and said, ""You lied to me!"" His father replied, ""No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.""

Kid, ""Mom, Dad, I'm in love with a gopher from a funny animal video."" Parent, ""The Bible says Adam and Eve, not Allen! Allen! Allen! Steve!""