Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate. This went on for weeks until the priest, overcome with curiosity, approached her. ""Sister, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate,"" he noted. ""Why yes,"" she replied, ""every week my son sends me money, and what I don't need I give to the church."" ""That's wonderful, how much does he send you?"" asked the priest. ""Oh, $2,000 a week."" said the old lady. ""Your son is very successful…

A guy and his dog go into a bar... ...and the guy sits down at the bar. He orders a beer and drinks it, then orders another. The dog sits patiently at his feet. When it comes time for the guy to pay, he looks the barman in the eye and says, ""I'm afraid I don't have any money."" The barman is about to kick this joker's ass when the guy says, ""But I have something even better. I have a magical dog. He can talk."" This is a new one on the barman, and although he's skeptical, he decides to give th…

I will be doing some themed jokes from now on. Theme 1: Business A frog goes into the bank and asks the teller for a loan. The teller tells the frog to see Mr. Paddywack, the loan officer. Mr. Paddywack looks at the frog and says, ""What do you have for collateral? "" The frog pulls out of his pocket a solid silver elephant. Mr. Paddywack looks at the elephant and says, ""I don't know. I'm going to have to ask Mr. Larson, the bank manager to approve this. "" He goes into Mr. Larson's office and …

The Rabbi's Blessing A rabbi was walking down the street when, suddenly, a strong gust of wind blew his shtreimel (fur hat) off his head. The rabbi ran after his hat but the wind was so strong it kept blowing his hat farther and farther away. He just couldn't catch up with it. A young gentile man, witnessing this event and being more fit than the rabbi, ran after the hat and caught it. The young gentile man handed the hat over to the rabbi. The rabbi was so pleased and grateful that he gave the …