Vladimir Putin, Fidel Castro and the Oort Cloud are riding on a train.. Fidel Castro, Vladimir Putin, and the Oort Cloud are riding on a train. Fidel Castro pulls an expensive Cuban cigar out of his pocket, lights it, and then throws it out the window after only a few puffs. Vladimir Putin and the Oort Cloud are both surprised by this and ask ""what are you doing, Fidel? That's an expensive cigar!"" To which Castro responds, ""in your country/post-heliopausal region perhaps, but in my country th…

Fidel Castro was giving a speech to his people Fidel Castro was giving a speech to the Cuban people in a large outdoor venue. Halfway through the speech he hears a vendor in the crowd, ""popcorn, peanuts, soda..."" He ignores it and carries on with the speech. He hears the same thing, ""popcorn, peanuts, soda..."" Fidel gets frustrated and says, ""the next person I hear say that I'm gonna kick his ass so hard he's gonna wind up in Florida."" Then the whole crowd goes, ""popcorn, peanuts, soda.""…

Fidel Castro died and went to heaven. When he arrived there, Jesus said that his place was in hell. Arriving there, Fidel was received with honors by Satan. In a certain moment, he remembered he had forgotten his baggage in Heaven and he wanted to look for them but Satan said to him: ""Stay here, I will send two little demons to search for them"" When the little demons came to heaven, the line was too big and they decided to jump the gate. When Jesus saw them jumping through the gate he said: Th…

Fidel Castro dies and goes to hell. There he discovers that he has a choice: he can go to capitalist hell or to communist hell. Naturally, he wants to compare the two, so he goes over to capitalist hell. There outside the door is the devil, who looks a bit like Ronald Reagan. ""What's it like in there?"" asks Fidel. ""Well,"" the devil replies, ""in capitalist hell, they flay you alive, then they boil you in oil and then they cut you up into small pieces with sharp knives."" ""That's terrible!""…