The Goat and The Horse There was a farmer who had a horse and a goat. One day, the horse became ill and he called the veterinarian, who said: Well, your horse has a virus. He must take this medicine for three days. I'll come back on the 3rd day and if he's not better, we're going to have to put him down. Nearby, the goat listened closely to their conversation. The next day, they gave him the medicine and left. The goat approached the horse and said: Be strong, my friend. Get up or e…

Poor little Rabbit A vegan is driving his Escalade down the highway and as he turns a corner he spots a rabbit run out in front of him. He locks up the brakes and skids side to side, desperately tries to not run over the rabbit. The rabbit takes a couple hops to the left and SPLAT! The front right tire flattens the bunny. Moments later the vegan is sitting on the side of the road, hands in his face, tears pouring down his cheeks over committing murder. He sees another car approach and sto…

told my girl I was going to a wine tasting, now she's coming and I was just gonna eat a dead bird and some expired cat food behind a Costco

*Sees dead cat on the road. Walk it off buddy, you got 8 more.