No Mexicans please A U.S. Navy cruiser pulled into port in Mississippi for a week's liberty. The first evening, the Captain was more than a little surprised to receive the following letter from the wife of a wealthy plantation owner: ""Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter Melinda's, coming of age party. I would like you to send four well mannered, handsome, unmarried officers. They should arrive at 8 p.m. prepared for an evening of polite southern conversation and dance with lovely young l…

white reincarnations cost extra When you die and you're given the reincarnation menu, coming back as a white person probably will cost extra. You'll need to spend a few rounds as a Tibetan monk or Mississippi slave to save up enough God coins to unlock the exclusive angel-cake skin. By choosing white you get a ""likely to be well received by strangers"" bonus; random encounters will have a 25% greater chance of yielding favorable results (unless you're in bizarro world, aka gangland, where all s…

George Phillips of Meridian , Mississippi was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked ""Is someone in your house?"" He said ""No."" Then they said ""All patrols were busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."" George s…

Offended woman A woman on a bus overheard a man, obviously a foreigner, talking to his companion while he said, “Emma coma first, I coma next, two assa coma together, I coma again, two assa coma together again, I coma once-a-more, den pee-pee twice, den I coma for da lasta time.” The woman, disgusted by the filthy language, and noting a policeman sitting ahead of her said, “Sir can you arrest this man, or at least give him a warning?” “For what?,” asked the policeman, “for spelling Mississipp…