If Facebook Was Real me: cool shirt Brian Brian: thanks [hours later, a knock at my door] me: um yes? Brian's Mom: I also like that shirt

When my mom first saw my Facebook she was offended it said I was "interested in men" I think because she thought that was a list of hobbies

Facebook made billions by saying "Hey, remember that kid you haven't seen since the third grade? He's a parent who hates Obama now."

Facebook has a link to "Report a Problem" so I wrote "I'm not very close with my father." Now we wait I guess