If Facebook Was Real me: cool shirt Brian Brian: thanks [hours later, a knock at my door] me: um yes? Brian's Mom: I also like that shirt

Facebook made billions by saying "Hey, remember that kid you haven't seen since the third grade? He's a parent who hates Obama now."

Facebook has a link to "Report a Problem" so I wrote "I'm not very close with my father." Now we wait I guess

*dad bursts into my room and puts me in a headlock* "Why didn't you 'Like' the Grumpy Cat meme I posted on Facebook, you son of a bitch?"