A priest from Ireland was assigned to a Texas diocese. One morning, Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station. The conversation went like this: ""Good morning, this is Sergeant Jones, how might I help you?"" ""And the best of the day t…

A man from Ireland was on a bus tour of the United States. As the bus travelled for miles and miles through desert landscape and oil fields, he asked the guide: "Where are we now?" The guide said proudly: "We're in the great state of Texas." "It's certainly big," mused the Irishman. "It's so big," added the guide, "that your County Kerry would fit into the smallest corner of it." "Yes," smiled the Irishman, "and wouldn't it do wonders for Texas!"

Fun Fact: I love it when Americans whose Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Grandfather emigrated from Ireland say "I'm Irish". No.

When in Texas... *heads into the desert* *hugs cactus* *shoots said cactus* *rides off into the sunset on horseback*