Stuck on an island... **Not my joke, but we had so much fun with this one.** One day 3 people were stuck on an island with cannibals. the cannibals said, ""if you do what we say, we wont kill you"". so the 3 people followed the orders the cannibals. So the cannibals said, ""go into the forest and pick 10 fruits of the first fruit you see"". So the first person came back out of the forest with 10 apples. the cannibals said, ""put the apples up your ass without making a facial expression"". The pe…

Gandhi and two other people go to Heaven... Mahatma Gandhi and two other people die and go to heaven. However, they're really far from the gates and must get there somehow. Someone comes up to them and says, ""I can get you a car to reach the gates. The car'll depend on how many kids you had when you were alive."" The first person says he had 2 children. The person replies, ""Well, that's not too many."" And whips up a sports car for him to drive to the Gates. The second person says that he had …

A bus full of ugly people get in an accident They all died and went to heaven. God felt bad for all of these people and decided to give them all one wish. They all stood in line and the first person thought for a moment. Then the first person decided, I've spent my whole life ugly I wish to be beautiful. So god snaps his fingers and made him beautiful. The second person thought that was a great idea decided she too wanted to be beautiful. God snaps his fingers and made her beautiful. The next 3 …

Three nuns, a postulant, a novitiate, and the mother superior, are driving and get in a car wreck. All three die and go to heaven. Before St. Peter lets them in, he says that to get into heaven, you have to answer one question. He looks to the postulant and says, ""because you're the youngest you get the easiest question. Who was the first human ever created by God?"" The postulant gives a sigh of relief and says, ""Thats easy, obviously it was Adam."" St. Peter opens the gates for her and respo…