You would be amazed how cheap lawn mowers are at Home Depot when you own a pickup truck and a orange apron.

My fake mustache fell off in Home Depot and now they won't let me touch any of the power tools.

Home Depot is having their "ultimate tool event" in case anyone wants to buy my cousin Tyler.

Hit the showers. Smack a sink. Verbally assault a bathtub. Make everyone at Home Depot uncomfortable.