*sees guy dressed as ghost for Halloween* Hey buddy thats not funny, my grandma is a ghost

(Halloween Costume Shop) ME: *leaving after not finding anything* CASHIER: *pointing to my face* Those masks aren't free, buddy.

*sees Salvation Army bell ringer* "Here you go, buddy. Merry Christmas!" "Sir, we don't accept children." *runs away*

At the beach (When I was growing up, my father used to tell this joke at every thanksgiving gathering of friends and family. I was mortified each time. Now it's one of those memories that makes me smile, regardless of the joke quality...) Me and my buddy were out along the beach one weekend looking for clams. We had a nice spot picked out for a bake later in the evening. But as it started to get dark, we had to head back, with no clams at all. On the way, we saw a food vendor set up in the sand,…