Do you know why a vampire will never suck a lawyer's blood? Professional courtesy.

What do you call Judge Judy when she dresses like a vampire? Cunt Dracula

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

Fired from my court room sketch artist job, for putting thought bubbles on people's heads saying "The court room sketch artist is so hunky."