Parish priest A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited. ""I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told…

Trump steps out onto the White House lawn in the dead of winter Donald Trump steps out onto the White House lawn in the dead of winter. Right in front of him, on the White House lawn, he sees ""Donald Trump Sucks"" written in urine across the snow. Well, he's is pretty ticked off. He storms into his security staff's HQ, and yells ""Somebody wrote an insult in the snow on the front damn lawn! And they wrote it in urine! Whoever did it had to be standing right on the porch when he did it! Where we…

Dave has an awesome job Dave was commissioned to drive the Pope to the airport within the hour. Unfortunately, being a new driver, he got lost. ""It's all right, my son. I used to drive these streets in my youth. We'll get there in time."" The Pope took the wheel with Dave sitting in the back seat. He drove like an expert, taking sharp turns easily. The Pope, not wanting to be late for his flight, didn't realize how fast he was going. Soon the red and blue lights flashed behind him. ""It will be…

Barber Shop One day at a local barber shop a priest went in to get his hair cut. After he finished he asks the barber how much he owes him for the haircut. The barber politely responds with ""For you, it is free of charge. Think of it as my way of giving back to my religion"". The priest is very thankful and leaves. The next day the barber arrives to his shop and find 12 prayer cards on the doorstep from the priest in repayment for the kind act. That very same day a police officer comes into the…