Heaven was planning a staff outing... and they where busy choosing their destination. God: ""How about we go to Bethlehem?"" Mary: ""Nah, accomodation is really lousy there."" God: ""Ok, what about Jerusalem?"" Jesus: ""Rather not, I've got some bad memories from that place..."" God: ""I know, let's go to Rome!"" Holy Ghost: ""Great, I've never been there before!""

The Chief Rabbi and the Pope are in a meeting in Rome. The Rabbi notices a fancy shmancy phone on a side table in the Pope's private chambers. ""What's that phone for?"" he asks. ""It's my direct line to the Lord!"" the Pope replies. The Rabbi is doubtful but the Pope insists that he tries it out and indeed he is connected to the Lord and chats away with Him for a while. After he hangs up the Rabbi says. ""Thank you very much. This is great! But listen I want to pay for the charges I have us…

An old mafia boss was at the end of his life He knew he didn't have much time left to live and he was getting worried about where he might end up after his death if he did not get absolution for his sins. He had been a very evil person and he knew that any old village priest would not be able to do the job so instead he arranged a meeting with the pope in Rome. The pope listened to all the sins the mafia boss had committed. "I can give you absolution for your sins," the pope said "but let me b…

Ben-Hur was actually called, Fast & The Furious: Jerusalem Drift, but the name didn't catch on like they had hoped