I really want to make a joke about Luis Suarez but I don't want to upset Liverpool fans.F*ck it. Why is Luis Suarez a c*nt? Because he lives in Liverpool.

Liverpool sounds like the most disgusting place in the world to hold a swim meet.

England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool

Finding a striker Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson sends scouts out around the world looking for a new talent to hopefully win the title. One of his scouts informs him of a young Afghani striker who he thinks will turn out to be a true superstar. So Ferguson flies to Afghanistan to watch him and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come to Old Trafford. Two weeks later Man U are 4-0 down at home to Liverpool with only 20 minutes left to play. Ferguson gives the young Afghan the n…