The captain of a pirate ship always wears a red shirt... one day, one of his crew members asks him why he always wears red. The captain responds with ""well, I always wear this shirt because if I get shot during a fight, i don't want you guys to see blood and get all freaked out."" ""Well thats very considerate of you sir"" - responds the crew member. Shorty after, a hostile ship is spotted on the horizon. As cannonballs are hitting their boat, the captain yells to the crew member: ""get me my brown pants!!!""